


keep for me your sweetness

by apocryphiend (sweet_juju_magumbo)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Unrequited Love, enjoy the cliches :))))), how did I get here, pablo neruda is the poetic love of my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_juju_magumbo/pseuds/apocryphiend
Summary: Cat wishes she could hate her. Wishes she could pin this down to simple jealousy. At least that would be something she could understand.
 
a.k.a me suddenly giving in to very unexpected Supergirl feels.





	

Cat looks at Kara, and it hurts like looking into the sun. Kara bumbles in and brings her cold coffee and talks too much and asks questions that sound bizarre even to Cat, even to someone who has seen and done it all. She speaks kindly and she smiles sweetly and she believes in the world like it’s the only thing she knows how to do. Kara is everywhere, all at once, doing everything she can, and then doing more, leaving Cat breathless in her wake.

And then she’ll disappear for hours, and it makes Cat want to scream. _Where are you?_ she wants to say. _How do you stay in my sight when you leave? How are you still here when you go?_ Her absence is overwhelming, it's nonexistent, it's too much for Cat to bear. Cat wants to draw Kara in, sit her down, and hold her still so that she can look at her, just look at her until her eyes have had their fill, until they don't ache with needing to see her anymore.

Cat wishes she could hate her. Wishes she could pin this down to simple jealousy. At least that would be something she could understand, resenting this girl - _this brilliant, beautiful young woman_ \- for having inherent in her that kind of goodness Cat has never known, has never dreamed of. It isn't right, it can't be fair, that a person should hold this much purity, shine this brightly all on their own. 

Cat knows that the hurt pours out from her mouth, makes poison-tipped daggers of her words anytime she speaks to Kara. She doesn't mean for it to happen. Or, maybe she does, maybe she wants Kara to understand this awful, aching consciousness, this biting hyper-awareness that tinges her life now.

She expects her smile to falter (she dreads it), she expects her words to hurt Kara in turn, but her smile never fades, her shine never dulls. Cat is baffled. She is struck dumb; it is too much to be believed. Cat wonders at how she can swallow down the bitterness, the petty humanity, and not choke on it. Wonders at how she can hold the world on her shoulders without letting it break her back. 

Cat wants to believe in something. She wants to stare into the sun. So she does, and it hurts. It hurts and it hurts and it hurts but she can't look away.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from [this](http://m.poemhunter.com/poem/absence-56/) neruda poem


End file.
